They Call Me Snow White

It’s true, you know.  My friends have this bad habit of telling me I have “Snow White” powers.  What it means is that I have this weird way with animals…bordering on supernatural, they tell me.  I’ve always been that way, too.  There are only two animals I’ve ever NOT gotten along with – a chihuahua that took over my back yard when I was 8 and bit me (at which time, the dog catcher was called and the little bastard was taken and put down), and a doberman that lived down the street (that one tried to bite a car, and it didn’t work out so well for him).  Any other animal is my friend, though.

The reason I say this is because as I write this, there is a whole herd of kittens on my porch.  We have five, a combination of two different litters.  The two older ones are becoming bolder because of the three little ones.  Either that, or they’re talking in their secret kitty language to the littlest one, who has become my little buddy.

Rooster named him “Honey Badger” and says it’s because “he don’t care.”

(If you haven’t seen the video this refers to, then CLICK HERE.)

Of course, Honey Badger doesn’t look too swift these days.  The poor thing’s eyes are constantly mucousy, and he’s so little that I worry he won’t make it.  He seems pretty tough though, and he’s a sweet little thing.  Whether it’s because he’s nearly blind or he just likes the attention, I don’t know.  But he and I have quite the rapport going… to the point where the others are poking their heads out of their little hidey-hole (a brick fell out of the porch and they get under the house) to see what’s up.  I had four little sets of eyes looking up at me this morning, and it was cute.  Before I could take a picture, they all ran, though.

If something happens to Honey Badger, it’s going to break my heart.  I knew better than to get attached to the little booger, but he’s just so… unfortunate.  I’ve always been drawn to the outcasts and underdogs… precisely why one of my indoor cats is the runt of the litter.  Mena, even at nearly six years old, is still a tiny little thing…but her attitude more than makes up for her smallness.

When I was in high school, I was convinced that I would become a veterinarian because I loved animals so much…then I worked for one and discovered that I couldn’t handle it.  I’m too squishy inside to deal with sick animals, especially when not all of them make it.  After the dachshund that was attacked by the gator (I grew up on the Barrier Islands of Charleston…so we saw lots of gators), I knew it wasn’t for me.

But back to these powers…

Lexxx calls me Snow White because I manage to charm pretty much any animal that comes around.  Aside from the herd of cats outside (I blame Rooster and the SUCKER stamp across his forehead – I swear there’s a neon sign in the woods just for cats that points to our house and says A SUCKER LIVES HERE!!!), I managed to charm her sister’s dog that apparently doesn’t like anybody.  Jake is a sweetheart…she just doesn’t see a whole lot of new people.  When we all moved out of our apartments, we had a communal cat named Cat who had moved in with all of us.  He was going to go live with Lexxx, but they couldn’t seem to catch him.  When I went over there, he came right to me and let me pick him up and squish him before shoving him into the carrier.

If I were a superhero, they’d probably call me The Zookeeper.  My super power wouldn’t be so super, though… except that I would have the ability to send throngs of animals after my targets.

Rooster keeps talking about getting ferrets… I don’t know if  I can handle more animals.  We’re up to NINE cats outside (if all the kittens make it), three cats and a guinea pig inside, plus Rooster and Raven.  I have my very own menagerie.  Plus we have a dog that comes to visit and a donkey across the street that likes my flowers.  And there’s an unholy combination of birds, squirrels, deer, beavers, rabbits, and everything else that lives in my hard.

If Alfred Hitchcock’s work  is any indication of the future, one day I’m going to end up trapped in my house by the throngs of wild animals outside.

Heh…that would just be my luck.

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One response to “They Call Me Snow White

  1. I’m telling you, the whole Snow White thing is true. I’ve seen it.:)

    And, hey, your Zookeeper powers are way cooler than my Grammatica ones. Heh!

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