Deep Breaths and Moving Forward

Things have really bothered me in a way that’s not fair this week.  I’d blame it on PMS or post-baby hormones or a dozen other excuse-type things, but that’s still not fair.

I’m just bitchy right now.  In a bad way.

My baby girl is five months old today, and with that milestone comes another knife through the heart – my Dad isn’t here to see her giggling and playing with her toes and trying to sit up and be a big girl.  It’s bittersweet, and more than anything else it makes me bitter.

I miss him like crazy.

Topping off a week of awful, I just found out that a good friend of mine was diagnosed last week with breast cancer.  On both sides.  They’re meeting with doctors now to schedule a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery.  No mention of chemo or radiation yet.

I’m in full-tilt mother hen mode right now – both for her and for myself.  I don’t like people messing with my territory.   I don’t like seeing my friends hurt.  I don’t like a lot of things right now.

But I’m working hard to get all of that behind me.  We’re going to focus on the good this week.  I know I did this not too long ago, but I have to do it again.

1. I returned a contract yesterday to Mocha Memoirs Press… “Mocha Memories” will hit next month during the “31 Days of Steamy Mocha” celebration!  I have another writing home, and so far I’m loving it.  Edits are in my inbox already and I really need to get them back to Michael before he reaches through the internet and slugs me.

2.  My baby girl is five months old today and healthy as a horse.  She’s my joy.

3. I got paid today.

4.  This time next week I’ll be packing down the Bubba Truck and heading out to Louisville, Kentucky for Fandom Fest.  There’s a whole cast of wonderful people waiting on the other side.  Old friends and new ones alike, I can’t wait to see all of them.

5. I’m cooking tomorrow at work.  Cookout, and I’m the local grill master.  I’m so loving that.

And that’s where we are.  I’ll get out of the meanness soon enough… so please bear with me while I continue to freak out.  Thanks.

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2 responses to “Deep Breaths and Moving Forward

  1. Siobahn, I hope joy comes to you soon….life is hard sometimes, but through the bad times we can super enjoy the good. Good to see you looking for the good! I did get the book through Amazon…thank you and take good care of yourself!

  2. Aw, everyone needs a bit of down time every now and again, and it does sound like you’ve had a bit of a rubbish few weeks. Well done on recognising your mood and being able to list your joys – I’m never very good at that when I’m spiralling. Enjoy your cookout ❤

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